Wednesday, October 7, 2009

#13 - Feelings

 Perhaps the largest disconnect between men and women is the importance they place on feelings. 

Men don't have much use for anything they can't see, screw or eat. Women, on the other hand, place feelings (particularly their own) at the center of everything they say and do.

1) The way they dress: 'I'm was feeling adventurous' (translation: slutty)
2) The things they do: 'I feel like we aren't spending enough time together. (translation: we are going start doing Yoga)
3) The way they eat: 'I always eat raw cookie dough when you make me feel neglected' (translation: it's your fault I'm fat)
4) The way they fight: 'I hear what you're saying but I don't feel what you're saying' (translation: you just lost the argument buddy)

As much as men hate talking about feelings, women LOVE to talk about them. It will be a cold day in hell when a woman chooses to have sex, eat pizza or watch tv over 'sharing her feelings'.

Herein lies the source of much frustration and many a missed football game for the men that are keeping a woman at home.

Unlike pizza, which tastes just as good when left in the fridge for a day, feelings are like a wine that turns to vinegar when not given attention immediately. 

Thanks to that fker Dr. Phil, we're all expected to clear our calendars each time a woman gets infected with feelings. And they're contagious. Everytime your woman hears Katie whining about how inattentive Drew is being, she'll decide to get angry and emotional at you for the same exact thing.

 Life is not an episode of Dawson's Creek. They care too much about feelings. That's the problem with women.

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