Monday, October 5, 2009

#11 - Their Relationships with their Mothers

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. - Oscar Wilde

You can learn a lot about a woman by observing her mother. As women age, they become decreasingly capable of hiding their true nature and saggy bosom. The older she gets, the more she will look and sound like mother dearest. And unless her name is Shilo Nouvel Pitt or Suri Cruise, nine times out of ten that won't be a good thing.

All mothers hand down complexes to their daughters...often the same ones they were given once upon a time by their own mothers.

You look pregnant. Slow down, the food's not going anywhere. You're going to wear that? Your legs look like tree stumps. How will you ever find someone to marry you? Try to fix your hair a little, I didn't raise a street urchin. Keep your chin out, so you look less fat.  

Every conversation starts out with a polite greeting, followed by 10 minutes of criticsm, 30 minutes of undecipherable screaming and yelling, a few tears shed and then the slamming of a telephone. 

These conversations take place as little as 7 times a week, and as many as 7 times a day. Always with no purpose. Always unpleasant.

You'd think women would have the common sense not to turn into the mothers they've suffered with their whole lives. They don't.

Their mothers are a never ending source of crazy. That's the problem with women.     

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