Tuesday, September 1, 2009

#1 - Bad Driving

 Saying that women can be good drivers, is like saying that men can be good listeners. It comes down to simple genetics and both genders basically have no choice in the matter.


Anytime a woman is behind the wheel, you can be certain that there will be many victims. The pedestrians that see their lives flash before their eyes. The other drivers that get their brand new cars banged up. The helpless passengers that are subjected to the abrupt braking and accelerating. 


The car is no place for singing off key, crying hysterically, or texting furiously while keeping one's eyes constantly averted from the road.  This all adds to the overwhelming chaos and confusion associated with holding a wheel straight while pressing down on a pedal at the same time. It's not easy trying to avoid colliding with the travelling circus in the blue minivan, the Britney Spears' 'Crazy' blasting from the windows, and the emotionally unstable female in the cockpit.

Women drive with all senses except for sight. They listen for the sound of profanities aimed in their direction as they drive, and feel for the thud of smashing bumpers as they park. If only they kept their eyes as open as their mouths while driving, the roads would be a lot safer.

Until women learn that rearview mirrors aren't for applying makeup, they will always be bad drivers. That's the problem with women.

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